Are there any rules to eating chocolate?
You may think indulging in a rich, decadent piece of chocolate is as simple as slipping it into your mouth and letting the pure cocoa flavor melt on your tongue...but devouring chocolate comes with certain unwritten rules:
- There is no such thing as too much chocolate… ever!
- There is definitely such a thing as not enough chocolate.
- When your friends say you look fabulous, it's not bragging to tell them about your secret chocolate diet.
- A chocolate a day keeps the doctor away (except the cute ones).
- White chocolate keeps your teeth bright… we think. But hey, why ruin a good story with the truth?
- Eating chocolate before dinner may spoil your appetite, but don't worry, another appetite will come along soon.
- Chocolate is a "superfood" that provides your recommended daily allowance of pleasure in one sitting.
- If it says "chocolate flavored" on the packet, don't eat it. Save your money for real chocolate.
- Cheap chocolate is bad for your ego. You are worth more than that.
- The only time you can eat chocolate slow and easy is when you are alone.
- Chocolate is exempt from the golden rule of sharing.
- Chocolate is bad for dogs…and children…and husbands…and neighbors.
- Chocolate is good for YOU!
- They say you should give yourself a gift each day, but with chocolate, it is proper etiquette to give yourself five to ten gifts a day.
- Chocolate doesn’t give you pimples, your dirty fingers do, so wash your hands before and after eating and everything is fine.
- Double dunking at the chocolate fountain is proper etiquette (as long as you don't get caught).
- Chocolate is the best way to cheer up a bad day.
- Eat pure chocolate. Be happy.
- Chocolate covered fruit makes you even more kissable.
- Life is there to be lived and chocolate is there to help you live it.
- Children are short, store chocolate in high places to save it from their grubby little mitts.
- They say chocolate is a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips, but who are "they?"
- If no one saw you eat the chocolate, you didn’t actually eat the chocolate.
- If the kids see you eating chocolate, tell them it's a brown vegetable bar.
- You can hide chocolate by the vacuum cleaner and it will never be found.
- Chocolate is the one food that won’t leave you with a pile of dishes.
- Chocolate is actually a fruit derived from pods of the cacao tree and it's okay to have fruit for lunch.
- Chocolate melts if left out, so you should eat it quickly.
- Even if you have nothing in common, you always have chocolate in common.
- Chocolate is the eighth wonder of the world.
- Eating chocolate will keep you sweet.
- Chocolate is the only food that tastes as good in liquid form as it does in solid, it’s a modern miracle!
- Chocolate is a "perfect food" - I mean, if you were in a disaster, what would you want more?
- Giving a chocolate piece is the best token of peace you can give.