34 Rules of Eating Chocolate

Are there any rules to eating chocolate?

You may think indulging in a rich, decadent piece of chocolate is as simple as slipping it into your mouth and letting the pure cocoa flavor melt on your tongue...but devouring chocolate comes with certain unwritten rules:
  1. There is no such thing as too much chocolate… ever!
  2. There is definitely such a thing as not enough chocolate.
  3. When your friends say you look fabulous, it's not bragging to tell them about your secret chocolate diet.
  4. A chocolate a day keeps the doctor away (except the cute ones).
  5. White chocolate keeps your teeth bright… we think. But hey, why ruin a good story with the truth?
  6. Eating chocolate before dinner may spoil your appetite, but don't worry, another appetite will come along soon.
  7. Chocolate is a "superfood" that provides your recommended daily allowance of pleasure in one sitting.
  8. If it says "chocolate flavored" on the packet, don't eat it. Save your money for real chocolate.
  9. Cheap chocolate is bad for your ego. You are worth more than that.
  10. The only time you can eat chocolate slow and easy is when you are alone.
  11. Chocolate is exempt from the golden rule of sharing.
  12. Chocolate is bad for dogs…and children…and husbands…and neighbors.
  13. Chocolate is good for YOU!
  14. They say you should give yourself a gift each day, but with chocolate, it is proper etiquette to give yourself five to ten gifts a day.
  15. Chocolate doesn’t give you pimples, your dirty fingers do, so wash your hands before and after eating and everything is fine.
  16. Double dunking at the chocolate fountain is proper etiquette (as long as you don't get caught).
  17. Chocolate is the best way to cheer up a bad day.
  18. Eat pure chocolate. Be happy.
  19. Chocolate covered fruit makes you even more kissable.
  20. Life is there to be lived and chocolate is there to help you live it.
  21. Children are short, store chocolate in high places to save it from their grubby little mitts.
  22. They say chocolate is a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips, but who are "they?"
  23. If no one saw you eat the chocolate, you didn’t actually eat the chocolate.
  24. If the kids see you eating chocolate, tell them it's a brown vegetable bar.
  25. You can hide chocolate by the vacuum cleaner and it will never be found.
  26. Chocolate is the one food that won’t leave you with a pile of dishes.
  27. Chocolate is actually a fruit derived from pods of the cacao tree and it's okay to have fruit for lunch.
  28. Chocolate melts if left out, so you should eat it quickly.
  29. Even if you have nothing in common, you always have chocolate in common.
  30. Chocolate is the eighth wonder of the world.
  31. Eating chocolate will keep you sweet.
  32. Chocolate is the only food that tastes as good in liquid form as it does in solid, it’s a modern miracle!
  33. Chocolate is a "perfect food" - I mean, if you were in a disaster, what would you want more?
  34. Giving a chocolate piece is the best token of peace you can give.